i hate..............

i HATE my ex-boyfriend. i hate him so much. why? hmm well maybe because of something i like to call the CYCLE. this is the cycle: we made up, there is an awkward period, we become friends, he does something so fucked up that i hate him. repeat.i hate him because he always lures me back and then i trust him again. i hate trusting him because he always betrays my trust.i hate the fact that he kept calling saying that he was coming to get me when he was really sitting around with a few guys that i hate. i hate that i believed that he was coming. i hate liking him, and i hate hating him. i wish he'd just fall off the face of the earth but then i'd hate missing him. i wish he never existed. i hatethat i called him once when i had a little too much you to drink and told him all of my problems, because now he has more control of me than ever. i hate him i hate him i hate him!!! but only the "i hate"makes me feel better